Audrey Mae SpencerSpencer Historical CemeteryHenry Straight / William Spencer Family Cemetery
Vaughn Historical CemeterySpencers of East Greenwich, RI
Conversations Sequel
20 June 2005

Heather visiting from California: Where would you like to go?

20 June 2005

Heather not keeping good records of date of conversation, except Thursday 10 AM

“I have headaches.  I’m tired.”

(Heather: Where do you feel bad?)

“All over.  I feel bad all over.  I just keep breathing and that makes me feel better.”

20 June 2005

Heather not certain of date but Mother trying to feed herself accidentally spilled tray of food

“I’m sick and tired of living!”

(Mother, its O.K.  I can easily clean it up and we can easily get another tray of food from the kitchen.  Accidents happen all the time to everybody.)

“I don’t know what’s the matter with me. (I am) crying all the time. I feel so sad being here. I hate to be such a sad sack. I don’t know why I’m crying now.  Heather, you are the most adjusted of all the gang. You don’t seem to be upset at all.  I’m upset all the time.”

28 June 2005

Calling from California to the B wing, I asked if staff would answer Mother’s speaker phone (Rhode Island Adaptive Telephone Equipment Loan (ATEL) Program) so that I could talk to mother:

“I want to go home. I want to go to my bed. Right now. If you get a chance, Heather. Hurry up. I want to get into my bed. I want to listen to you talk. I want to get in bed.”

(Mother, the nurses want you to stay up, so when you go to bed you will be really tired and not wake up in the night.)

(Samantha, the staff member listened outside Mother’s room and she said Mother seemed O.K. and stopped crying.)

10 July 2005

Crystal stated that Mother said:

“I just want to be quiet.”

24 July 2005

Heather (visiting Audrey at Kent Regency): Mother, do you want the headpiece of your wheel chair pushed back?

“No, I’ll, I’ll.  This is comfortable.”

(Heather: Mother, why are you crying?)

“The tomcats.  They came in on our line. When they came in, I cried right away.  I was pretty close to them.  I thought they were going to bite me. I was afraid of tomcats.”

(Heather: That must have been scary when you were a child. Mother, do you know why you are sad now?)

“I’m not sad.  I’m happy when I think of all the things I remember –running in the field–running and kicking up in the air as high as I could.”

(Obviously, Audrey’s lack of her own mobility was what she longed for the most as she aged.)

26 July 2005

Heather visiting Audrey at Kent Regency

(A large shopping bag was on Audrey’s tray table.)

“We’re first in line. We will get shot, Heather.”

(Heather: No, Mother. That is just Deardra’s and my shopping bags. These bags are so beautiful that Deardra likes to leave them with you. With your artistic eye you appreciate beauty.

(Another example of Audrey continuing to converse with me but often would not find the correct words to express her thoughts.)

26 July 2005

Heather: What are you noticing on the wall behind your bed? (Deardra had just hung a beautifully circular framed picture of a stylish shoe)

shoe-elegance-on-audreys-wall“Elegance” (Audrey read out loud the elegantly scripted word, Elegance, on the print.)

 

 

 

“Do you have any candy? I want my candy put on my tongue.”

(Heather:  No, I do not have any, but I’ll write it down and go to the store when I leave.)

“I want it now. I’m so sorry.  I didn’t want you to write it down. I’m so sorry.”

(That’s O.K. Mother.  I want to get the candy for you and the nurse told me of the best candy for you to have.)

27 July 2005

Date of conversations not accurately recorded by Heather) Heather: Hello Mother.

28 July 2005

(date of conversation not accurately recorded) Deardra and Heather drove Mother to visit Luane, Audrey’s brother’s grandchild. Luane lives in the family home where Mother lived from age 12 when her parents sold the farm and moved the family to the Coventry house. Audrey listened attentively as I am sure this home brings back many wonderful memories. Later that afternoon Audrey spoke clearly:

“Heather, I want you to remember to keep our family peaceable. It has to be worked on.  I want you to make sure everybody stays friendly with each other.  I know you know and understand how things can get. It is sad to see how it can get.  You got to keep them all in line.”