Audrey Mae SpencerSpencer Historical CemeteryHenry Straight / William Spencer Family Cemetery
Vaughn Historical CemeterySpencers of East Greenwich, RI
Life at Kent Regency Nursing Home
20 June 2005

Doug, Vaughn and Mark, Jr.’s visit lifts Mother’s spirits.

(Doug brought Mother back to her room after eating.  Mother started weeping and crying.  Vaughn came by with Mark, Jr.(born 9-17-2004).  Mother immediately started smiling.)

20 June 2005

Heather visiting from California: Where would you like to go?

28 June 2005

Calling from California to the B wing, I asked if staff would answer Mother’s speaker phone (Rhode Island Adaptive Telephone Equipment Loan (ATEL) Program) so that I could talk to mother:

“I want to go home. I want to go to my bed. Right now. If you get a chance, Heather. Hurry up. I want to get into my bed. I want to listen to you talk. I want to get in bed.”

(Mother, the nurses want you to stay up, so when you go to bed you will be really tired and not wake up in the night.)

(Samantha, the staff member listened outside Mother’s room and she said Mother seemed O.K. and stopped crying.)

26 July 2005

Heather: What are you noticing on the wall behind your bed? (Deardra had just hung a beautifully circular framed picture of a stylish shoe)

shoe-elegance-on-audreys-wall“Elegance” (Audrey read out loud the elegantly scripted word, Elegance, on the print.)

 

 

 

“Do you have any candy? I want my candy put on my tongue.”

(Heather:  No, I do not have any, but I’ll write it down and go to the store when I leave.)

“I want it now. I’m so sorry.  I didn’t want you to write it down. I’m so sorry.”

(That’s O.K. Mother.  I want to get the candy for you and the nurse told me of the best candy for you to have.)

27 July 2005

Date of conversations not accurately recorded by Heather) Heather: Hello Mother.

28 July 2005

(Later in the same day)

“Is Grandpa asleep?”

(Mother’s roommate at Kent had a deep voice and was hard of hearing, so she would shout instead of talk.  It was quite a while before I realized that Mother thought her roommate was a man and therefore thinking the person must be Grandpa.  Also, this substantiated my thought that Mother’s eyesight was very poor,)

“I’m so sleepy.  I’m so sleepy.  It’s dark in here.”

(Heather:  Mother, but the lights are on and it is light outside.)

“I see a man, by the window.  In front of the window.”

(Heather:  Mother, there is no one there. We are safe.)

“What are you going to do?  I’ve got to feed the horses.  Where are the horses?  They’ve got to eat.  The horses are cold.  There are three horses. Where are the horses?  I’ve got to see them. Open the gate. Go to the door.”

(Again when Audrey was confused she would revert back to her fears in her childhood when the horses would get out.  If the farmer did not have his horses, there was no help to plow the fields and there was no transportation. Not living the agrarian life anymore, Mother’s comments give us insight into the realities of life as it was on the farm.)

29 July 2005

(At 4PM a staff member called Crystal as Mother was crying) Crystal: Mother, you are in a no crying club.

(Mother stopped crying and another resident told Crystal “Your mother is quite an actress.”)

26 August 2005

Heather: A penny for your thoughts?

“I’ve got no thoughts, but what are you saying?”

(Heather: Do you like it here at Kent?)

“Yes”.

(Heather:  What do you like about it?”)

“It’s peaceful.  It’s quiet and nobody fighting with everybody else.  Everybody seems to be sensible.”

(Heather:  What do you like best about your room?)

(Looking up toward the framed hat box cover with a stylist shoe that Deardra put on the wall by Mother’s bed) “Elegance” Mother read.

(Heather:  Mother,  I’m trying to call Deardra to tell her that you liked her choice of decor, but she’s not home.)

“Well, I’m home.  You can call me.”

(Heather:  A penny for your thoughts?)

“This blue pillow.  I wonder how much this is.  Do you consider this whole building yours?”

(Heather:  Do you consider this your home?)

“No, because I don’t own it”.

(Heather:  But you rent it? Do you like it here? [Audrey gives a neutral response.]

“I wonder how…(end of thought) Do you own this house?”

(Heather:  Everything on this side of the room is yours (pointing to the corner, window).

5 September 2005

Heather: Mother, I found out more information about Audrey Green, your great, great, great, great, great, great,great (7 times) grandmother that you were named after. Audrey Greene descends from John Green and Joan Tattersall. A woman in my local California Chapter of the DAR also descends from that couple and she was telling me about this New England couple in the 1600s.

(Phone Conversation on Labor Day when staff member answered Mother’s phone so Mother could talk with me on the speaker phone–Rhode Island Adaptive Telephone Equipment Loan Program managed by Goodwill Industries of R.I.)

“I can’t understand…You got to come over here and show it to me…”

(Heather: Oh, I know it is confusing, but I am so happy that we can find this information about our ancestors. I’m reading 1776 by David McCullough and the author says that the Green house where General Nathaneal Green was born is still in the Green family in Warwick, R.I.  Let’s plan to ride by there when I come to R.I.)

“Oh, that sounds great…You got to come here and put me in the right place…It’s so bad…I’m awfully sad…I wish I were closer to you…”

(Heather:  I’ll continue to try to get to see you once a month. I am able to get the time off work because of the government program, Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA).  I wish I were old enough so that I could leave my work at the state and still keep my health insurance, but anyway, I am happy to get the time off to see you monthly.)

(Exact date and time in September not recorded, but on a phone conversation with Mother):

“I want you to be with me alone with you in this thing.  I want Douglas to come.”

30 December 2005

(Email from Douglas re visiting Mother at Kent Regency)

(Douglas arrived at Kent Regency with his guitar for a sing along.  Mother wanted to lead the sing along and wanted to go get the other residents.  Doug explained that the staff would get the other residents, so she did not have to do that.)

“Just hold on to me (when I get out of this chair). I’ve done this before. Let’s go.”  (Audrey still longing for her mobility and longing to help her children.)

(The staff was there to gather the residents and there was a nice sing along by the nurses’ station.)

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